Stop Saying Sorry

Men typically don’t start with disclaimers like “I’m not an expert” or “I won’t take up too much of your time.” Yet, such apologetic rhetoric is entwined into the female tongue.

The Child Mind Institutes’ article, Why Girls Apologize So Much, suggests women apologize excessively because we fear being too direct and feel like we’re taking up space. Men, however, rarely feel compelled to apologize for minor mistakes. 

No one expects men to apologize for being imperfect or taking up space, yet as women, we often tend to. We’ve been taught to play nice, to offer suggestions instead of stating things directly. 

Some of us have been conditioned to soften our language with niceties, instead of simply saying what we want to say; we suggest instead of state, offer instead of direct, and question instead of correct. 

We’ve been fashioned to think apologizing somehow makes us more palatable when in actuality each apology undermines every word that follows. 

We apologize for being in the way, for offering a suggestion, for leading a meeting, and for being right! 

Yet the verbiage we think excuses us for being in the way only reinforces the stereotype that we’re “little girls” who don’t know any better -  which is exactly what we are working against. 

So cut the apologetic rhetoric out of your vocabulary. Stop softening your approach. 

Say what you need to say and be yourself, fully. 

And, whatever you do, don't apologize for it!